Birthdays

My only sister turned 40 on Saturday and I went home to help celebrate with four of the kids. It was a fun night of getting together and celebrating but I also listened a lot. I listened to my sister and her friend talk about their busy lives and big paying jobs as HR Manager(sister) and advertiving(her freind). I listened to what my mom, aunt, brother-in-law and two nephews had to say about her when she opened her gifts. They all wrote something down and read it out loud. And as I sat back and listened I couldn't help but ponder what on earth people would say about me when I turned 40(in three years!) I actually said that to my dad as we were standing there quietly and he said, "The question is how many kids will you have by the time your 40?" Was that a slam? Maybe....I think they just have no idea how to take me. I have blood bonds with these people but many are unsaved and I live in a different universe then they do, just the same planet. Jesus is not their guiding force. He is not the reason they live and breath. Many of them are materialistic and live for more money, big houses, nice things, cars, etc. Where my husband and I are living for the exact opposite. We are doing our best to live for the glory of Jesus. He is what we are after. We love Him and desire to be better people through His unfathomable grace if He allows us. To be changed by Him and for Him. I could most likely imagine what my husband would say to me when I turn 40(the kind of stuff he says everyday to me) and maybe guess what my kids would say, although that might be a little scary. But what about my family....what will they say? Will they see the Jesus in me? Will they be able to acknowlege the One who I desire? And if they do will they want what I have? Is He enough for them? I don't know. The Lord will have to take care of that one. Or will they they see my seven or who knows, maybe eight, and look down upon us and wonder what in the heck we were thinking? Let me tell you, God knows what were thinking. He knows this is all about Him and for Him and He has blessed us beyond everything sensible to my husband and I. Never in a million years would I have inagined my life as it is. Yes, married with kids. But not this many and definately not homeschooling this long(For goodness sakes, I barely graduated High School!). It by by the sheer grace of God that my life "works" and functions on a daily basis. He is my desire and I long to ever be in His presence and find fellowship with Him.